Find the support that best suits your needs.
If you have found yourself here, I want to extend my deepest apologies. I see you and your grief. I hope the following resources are useful for you on this journey.
If you need additional support, please get in touch.
You are not alone.
Books
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It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting grief and loss in a culture that doesn’t understand by Megan Devine
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Whole: Navigating the trauma of pregnancy loss by Heather Dolson, R.N.
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So We Can Know: Writers of Color on Pregnancy, Loss, Abortion, and Birth by Aracelis Girmay
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The Miscarriage Map: What to expect when you are no longer expecting by Dr. Sunita Osborn
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I Had a Miscarriage: A memoir, a movement by Jessica Zucker
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Grief Day by Day: Simple practices and daily guidance for living wit loss by Jan Warner and Amanda Bearse
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Unexpecting: Real talk pregnancy loss by Rachel Lewis
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Miles Apart: A heartfelt guide to surviving miscarriage, stillbirth, and baby loss by Annabel Bower
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Dear Sarah: 5 Hopeful Stories of Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss by LaTya Wells
Virtual Communities
Your support needs are unique, as is your story. Find a community where you feel seen and heard with compassion and love. Here are a few:
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Return to Zero: HOPE is a very great resource to refer families who have had pregnancy or child loss experiences. They offer support groups, reading materials, and retreats for parents of loss.
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The Legacy of Leo: an LGBTQ couple who experienced a stillbirth put together a diverse collection of stories, podcast episodes, and support groups and connecting diverse birthing people and their families.
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The Loss Mama: a sisterhood who openly share their stories, and provide a safe space for you to feel seen, accepted, and heard.
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Empty Arms Bereavement: a community committed to meeting bereaved parents where they are, offering resources and support for grieving parents, families and friends, as well as information for professionals.
Breast/chestmilk
If the intention is to stop milk production, you may find the following advice helpful.
Ice - 15 minutes on and 15 minutes off
Cold green cabbage leaves - placed directly on breasts /chest area
Wear a comfortable, supportive bra
Avoid direct heat or water pressure (like from a shower) on breasts/chest area
The breasts/chest area will fill up in response to the hormonal pathway triggered by birth. After a few days, they rely on emptying to signal the need for milk production. It's a supply and demand system, so if there is no release it will shut down. It is best NOT to pump (if you pump, your hormonal system will signal to make more milk). In extreme discomfort, pumping off a few ounces as needed may help.
Herbal Help
Lactation suppressing herbs: hibiscus, parsley, peppermint, sage
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No More Milk tea by Earth Mama Organics
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No Flow tea by Pink Stork
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No Flow capsules by Pink Stork
Postpartum healing herbs safe and recommended for teas, tinctures, and baths to encourage healing of the vagina, pelvic floor, and surrounding areas:
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Calendula
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Chamomile
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Nettle leaf
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Passion flower
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Red raspberry leaf
Safe and recommended for teas and tinctures:
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Blessed thistle
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Ashwagandha
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Skullcap
List of care items
+ compassionate gifts
Care items:
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Essential oils and rollers for grief support (beramot and lavender are great!)
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Heating pads, electric and/or microwavable
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Epsom salts for baths
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Comfy clothes like big sweaters, sweatshirts, and sweat pants
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Gentle pressure eye mask
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Healing Hearts Comfort Gift Set (Seeds of hope, teas, rose quartz, and a candle)
Compassionate gift ideas:
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Beeswax or soy wax candles
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Mother's Ray Affirmation Cards for miscarriage and infant loss
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Navigating Grief: A guided journal
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Navigating Grief: Workbook
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Blank journals
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Grief in Color: A journal with prompts, quotes, and coloring pages to help you heal
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Coloring pages or books
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Colored pencils or pens
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Subscription to a meditation app
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Gift certificate for outdoor or mindfulness programs, activities, or series
Advocacy
Push Pregnancy: their mission is to make change by breaking the silence around stillbirth in order to inform the public, enact protective legislation, and empower birthing people.
RTZ Hope: their mission is to provide holistic support, resources, and community for parents who have endured loss on their parenthood journey.
Measure the Placenta: their mission is to spread awareness and inform birth workers, healthcare providers, and parents alike of the research surrounding placenta abnormalities and birth outcomes.